Former Big Brother Naija housemate, Khafi Kareem has stated that she always feels guilty that she still alive while her brother is dead.

Recall that on June 8,  Alexander Kareem, the younger brother of reality TV star Khafi Kareem was shot dead in London after midnight in an alleged case of mistaken identity.

Taking to her Instagram page, Khafi said that she knows that her brother’s killers are still out there walking freely among the living.

She said:

“Happy birthday Alex. The past few weeks in the run up to today I have been incredibly sad and have felt consistently horrible, but I have tried to mask it as best as I can.

Birthdays have been very difficult for me to celebrate since you left. Both my own and those of others because everyday I feel so guilty that I am still alive but you are not. I can’t lie, it hurts. It hurts a lot.

Today I should be seeing you smile like you are in this video, I should be hearing you tell us not to make a fuss over your birthday like every year but instead I can’t see you, hear your voice or play with your hair.

I think about you every single day and still spend most days in disbelief that you are really gone. But today has made me realise how final it is that you will never grow older, you will never age past 20 and that even though today is your birthday you won’t get to celebrate it with us anymore, as your death came prematurely and none of us were there to stop it. We would have if we could.

To the people that have inflicted this pain on me, my family and everyone who knew you, I just pray that they will realise the irreparable hurt they have caused and come forward themselves with the truth so that justice can be served. It is so hard to heal knowing that your killers are still out there walking freely among the living.

I will try to keep on living through the pain, some days I can smile, whereas other days the grief is so heavy I can barely move or function. I just want to scream, block the world out and give anything to be where you are. But I know we are still here for a reason, and my only hope is to continuously make you proud and walk in purpose until I am able to see you again, so help me God. Happy Birthday Alex. I love you so much and I’m so so sorry this happened to you. “